everyday it seems: i get up, get everyone going/ready, go to work, come home, cook, dinner, bath, laundry, go to bed exhausted just to get up and do it all over again. sometimes days blur together and then all of the sudden, it's been weeks of blur and i my mind begins to wonder,
"who's really raising my kids?"
"when was the last time my husband and I had time to connect about anything excluding finances, kids, schedule, work?"
"how did monday get here so fast?"
"when was the last time i had some quiet time?"
"am i a bad wife/mom/sister/daughter?"
"when did i last have some fun girl time?"
"am i failing...at everything i'm trying to do (follow god, marriage, mom, friend, daughter, sister)?"
then, i get a random hug from my daughter, she kisses my cheek, and says "i love you mommy". that voice in my wondering mind is scattered to the wind, replaced with wonder of it all.
the house is a disaster.
i can't find my desk for all the mail & bills piled high.
i don't have meals planned for the week.
i can't even tell you what's on the grocery list - where is it?
most of the laundry is done.
most of the dishes are done.
the floors are only sticky a little.
bathroom is kinda clean.
but, it's quiet and peaceful now.
the kids are asleep.
i am thankful.
another day survived.
a full day. full of
...snuggles.
...pajamas.
...waffles.
...pizza.
...bouncing.
...picking flowers (weeds?).
...lots of running & toddling.
there were tears from tripping
...learning.
...jealousy.
...discipline.
...hearing no.
lots of tickles
...smiles & giggles.
...kisses.
...hugs.
...love.
it's all worth it.
mom - best job in the world!
hope everyone will forgive me when i slack at the rest.
Showing posts with label sweet moments. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sweet moments. Show all posts
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
vanity and unwanted hair
How in the world do I explain why I'm tweezing my eyebrows to my 3 year old while she is going to the bathroom?!
"Why momma? Why you do that?" she asks.
So many answers pop in and out of my mind, but nothing sounds good, right, honest or what I want her to hear.
Answers like:
Well, I have these extra hairs that keep growing out that I don't want...If I don't get them, I'll have a bushy uni-brow...It drives me crazy when I see those little buggers sprouting out in the wrong place...For whatever reason, God gave me some extra ones...Oh I'm just multi-tasking, just passing the time...Because my best friend in middle school showed me how and said I needed to...Maybe because I'm just vain and self-conscious and always imagining people staring at them wondering why I don't take care of that mess...It's something to do while I'm waiting for you on the potty...You know, the beautifully made up models with professionally shaped & groomed brows create expectations in my head that I can't ever meet, but somehow I still want to strive for them.
Oh boy, I just want this conversation to go away!! So I say, "Don't forget to flush" and off we go.
But I am reminded of what really matters, because of her question. Get over it I tell myself. And at least for the moment, I will.
BTW - I did a google image search to get a photo of a pair of tweezers. So scary to see all those different types of pluckers out there. It's made me even more aware of this crazy insane culture we live in that detests unwanted and supposedly unnecessary hair - we're so vain!!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
can she just stay 3 forever
She has this silly DVD all about the circus. Today, she brings it out and says, "Mommy, this is my FAVORITIST!" Oh the simplicity and innocence of a child. The joy and honesty and sheer delight on her face made my day.
Today, when daddy comes through the door from work, she runs from one end of the house to the other yelling, "Daddy's here! Daddy's here!" over and over, too loud and probably waking up her sister who just fell asleep. But, how can you stop that exuberant love from pouring out? No way!!
Her sister is sad, so she brings her favorite blanket and animal. Tenderhearted to the core.
She shares her treasured ice cream with her sister (even though I asked her not to). Wow, generous to a fault.
I love these days. I wish I could somehow memorize all these sweet sweet moments. Especially to replay when she's a teenager! :-)
Today, when daddy comes through the door from work, she runs from one end of the house to the other yelling, "Daddy's here! Daddy's here!" over and over, too loud and probably waking up her sister who just fell asleep. But, how can you stop that exuberant love from pouring out? No way!!
Her sister is sad, so she brings her favorite blanket and animal. Tenderhearted to the core.
She shares her treasured ice cream with her sister (even though I asked her not to). Wow, generous to a fault.
I love these days. I wish I could somehow memorize all these sweet sweet moments. Especially to replay when she's a teenager! :-)
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Bones
My daughter is cracking me up these days with her epiphanies about bones. We got some nice colorful medical diagrams of various systems of the human body, including the skeletal system and we've tried to explain her about the bones inside her body (and all of us!). Now, her knees have been hurting her when she falls..."my bones", she says! Then, tonight at dinner, daddy is eating a drumstick and shows her the chicken bone. Wow!! Who knew? Chickens have bones too, just like us!! Watching her connect these dots in her mind made me smile.
Gotta love the sweet innocence of a 3 year old.
BTW, confession: I think I'm addicted to Bones. I'm in the middle of season 2 on Netflix. Good stuff!
Gotta love the sweet innocence of a 3 year old.
BTW, confession: I think I'm addicted to Bones. I'm in the middle of season 2 on Netflix. Good stuff!
Monday, May 10, 2010
in honor of all mom's out there
My 3rd Mother's Day. Not so different than any other day. up early, cooking, dishes, laundry, chores, tears, laughter, hugs, and kisses. a sweet treat to end the day - my choice. loved hearing "happy mudders day" from my 2 year old. her words melted my heart. plus, her impromptu "I love my mommy" song in the car was pretty amazing too. she was singing to herself, but I heard it!!
I don't know where this came from or who wrote it, but it is good. I am often reminded of how much being a mom has helped me learn what "dying to self" really means. This story gave me another encouraging perspective on motherhood:
I'm Invisible
I don't know where this came from or who wrote it, but it is good. I am often reminded of how much being a mom has helped me learn what "dying to self" really means. This story gave me another encouraging perspective on motherhood:
I'm Invisible
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.
The invisible Mom.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more:
Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more:
Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being.
I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?'
I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?'
I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?'
I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, and she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, and she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And, the workman replied, 'Because God sees.' I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime, because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home.And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And, the workman replied, 'Because God sees.' I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime, because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home.And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Nothing like
going in to check on your baby in her crib and being shocked! At 6 months old, she normally sleeps on her tummy, but instead I find her on her side hugging her elephant, still in the perfect posture as if she had been giving him big kisses too!
I was so surprised that she was a) on her side, b) able to get the elephant, and c) sound asleep like that!
I was so surprised that she was a) on her side, b) able to get the elephant, and c) sound asleep like that!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Delight
I love the moments of sheer delight that are often written on my daughters face and in her whole body like she's wearing it.
Running across a huge grass soccer field...
Jumping: from a step, from her chair, from the car, from the couch, from her bed, anything!
At the park, endlessly swinging, saying "higher higher mommy" with the biggest grin...
Being tossed up in the air by mommy, then says "again again!"...
Somersaults, again and again and again...
Being "found" after hiding under the covers in her bed for the zillionth time...
Seeing Lindy walk through the door and full octane sprints to greet her...
Becoming "burrito maddy" in a towel after bathtime so we can "eat" her...
Making huge long animal "parades" with all her stuffed animal friends and then joins the line with pride!...
Prayer time: "Who do you want to prayer for?" And always, first thing, like it's all one word and talking really fast like her daddy does, she says, "lindseyryanchicomotley." She loves her auntie Lindsey! She gets first prayer priority every night without fail!!
Walking through the house with her special blanket over head and hugging us while we say something like "ooh where did maddy go? and why is this pink blanket hugging my leg?!"...meanwhile, giggles erupt from the blanket...
Running across a huge grass soccer field...
Jumping: from a step, from her chair, from the car, from the couch, from her bed, anything!
At the park, endlessly swinging, saying "higher higher mommy" with the biggest grin...
Being tossed up in the air by mommy, then says "again again!"...
Somersaults, again and again and again...
Being "found" after hiding under the covers in her bed for the zillionth time...
Seeing Lindy walk through the door and full octane sprints to greet her...
Becoming "burrito maddy" in a towel after bathtime so we can "eat" her...
Making huge long animal "parades" with all her stuffed animal friends and then joins the line with pride!...
Prayer time: "Who do you want to prayer for?" And always, first thing, like it's all one word and talking really fast like her daddy does, she says, "lindseyryanchicomotley." She loves her auntie Lindsey! She gets first prayer priority every night without fail!!
Walking through the house with her special blanket over head and hugging us while we say something like "ooh where did maddy go? and why is this pink blanket hugging my leg?!"...meanwhile, giggles erupt from the blanket...
Friday, February 5, 2010
Sweet Words
Maddy and new little friend D are playing, running around, hanging out this afternoon. D's dad says D has to come with him for a minute to go get something or so something (I wasn't paying attention).
D is a little upset that he has to leave Maddy.
"Is she going to miss me?" he asks. So seriously. So worried. His tone just melted my heart!
That is the sweetest thing I've heard in awhile and exactly why I love kids. Their hearts are just amazing!
D is a little upset that he has to leave Maddy.
"Is she going to miss me?" he asks. So seriously. So worried. His tone just melted my heart!
That is the sweetest thing I've heard in awhile and exactly why I love kids. Their hearts are just amazing!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
funny talk
Heather: (singing randomly) It's your birthday, it's your birthday...
Maddy: NOT!
Just like that. The 2 year old puts the teenager in her place. How does that happen?!
Maddy: NOT!
Just like that. The 2 year old puts the teenager in her place. How does that happen?!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
What do you say when...
your naked two year old examines herself and says "what's this mommy?" while pointing to her own bare chest.
That's random. Where did that question come from?!
"That's your nipple, Maddy."
"Oh." (pause to investigate again) Then, "One....two. Two mommy!"
"You're right. You have two."
At least she didn't ask me what they're for. I'm not ready for that. Although since she's watched me nurse her baby sister for 5 months now, I'm sure she knows, so she didn't have to ask. She probably just needed help remembering the right word! Regardless, these random conversations always catch me off guard!
I love watching her grow and develop, but so often I just want to freeze time!
That's random. Where did that question come from?!
"That's your nipple, Maddy."
"Oh." (pause to investigate again) Then, "One....two. Two mommy!"
"You're right. You have two."
At least she didn't ask me what they're for. I'm not ready for that. Although since she's watched me nurse her baby sister for 5 months now, I'm sure she knows, so she didn't have to ask. She probably just needed help remembering the right word! Regardless, these random conversations always catch me off guard!
I love watching her grow and develop, but so often I just want to freeze time!
Friday, January 22, 2010
Emotion Filled Moments
We're driving down the freeway and I see a full double rainbow ahead. It's bright and amazing, the colors seeming to pop out against the still gray cloudy late afternoon sky.
Me: Look, there's a rainbow, can you see it?
Maddy: Yeah, two mommy!
Me: Yes, there are two. You're right. I didn't think you'd see the second one...it's really light.
Maddy: (in her most declarative voice) Promise mommy.
Me: (eyes immediately welling with tears). I know...it's God's promise, you're right.
Maddy: Where animals mommy?
Me: (now stifling laughter) Uh, well, all the animals were there just for the first rainbow God made.
You gotta love the concrete thinking of a two year old! In all our Noah books and kid Bibles, I think the animals and the rainbow are in the picture together. So, why wouldn't she expect to see them today?!
She made me cry AND laugh in the same minute! Yes, I am sensitive, so what?!
Me: Look, there's a rainbow, can you see it?
Maddy: Yeah, two mommy!
Me: Yes, there are two. You're right. I didn't think you'd see the second one...it's really light.
Maddy: (in her most declarative voice) Promise mommy.
Me: (eyes immediately welling with tears). I know...it's God's promise, you're right.
Maddy: Where animals mommy?
Me: (now stifling laughter) Uh, well, all the animals were there just for the first rainbow God made.
You gotta love the concrete thinking of a two year old! In all our Noah books and kid Bibles, I think the animals and the rainbow are in the picture together. So, why wouldn't she expect to see them today?!
She made me cry AND laugh in the same minute! Yes, I am sensitive, so what?!
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