today

everyday it seems: i get up, get everyone going/ready, go to work, come home, cook, dinner, bath, laundry, go to bed exhausted just to get up and do it all over again.  sometimes days blur together and then all of the sudden, it's been weeks of blur and i my mind begins to wonder,

"who's really raising my kids?"

"when was the last time my husband and I had time to connect about anything excluding finances, kids, schedule, work?"

"how did monday get here so fast?"

"when was the last time i had some quiet time?"

"am i a bad wife/mom/sister/daughter?"

"when did i last have some fun girl time?"

"am i failing...at everything i'm trying to do (follow god, marriage, mom, friend, daughter, sister)?"

then, i get a random hug from my daughter, she kisses my cheek, and says "i love you mommy".  that voice in my wondering mind is scattered to the wind, replaced with wonder of it all.

the house is a disaster.
i can't find my desk for all the mail & bills piled high.
i don't have meals planned for the week.
i can't even tell you what's on the grocery list - where is it?
most of the laundry is done.
most of the dishes are done.
the floors are only sticky a little.
bathroom is kinda clean.
but, it's quiet and peaceful now.
the kids are asleep.
i am thankful.
another day survived.
a full day.  full of
...snuggles.
...pajamas.
...waffles.
...pizza.
...bouncing.
...picking flowers (weeds?).
...lots of running & toddling.
there were tears from tripping
...learning.
...jealousy.
...discipline.
...hearing no.
lots of tickles
...smiles & giggles.
...kisses.
...hugs.
...love.
it's all worth it.
mom - best job in the world!

hope everyone will forgive me when i slack at the rest.