My lack of it is just about all the proof I need that there is a heaven.
One day, when I am there with God, I will finally be satisfied. Fully. Totally. Completely. Thoroughly. Forever. It will be an amazing unending celebration.
To my understanding, there is not a truly satisfied person on all the earth. If I am wrong, please send a shout out to me right away and let me know how you got there.
In the meantime, I often find myself deeply unsatisfied. Two things enlightened me today with a moment of self discovery: Reading a friend’s post about To Do lists and then later a brief conversation with a friend about our house.
I know that I AM a list maker. I love lists because I feel more organized. I love to check things off those lists. I love knowing the lists are there so that I don’t have to constantly try and remember everything. I write it down and forget about it until the list reminds me! When something is accomplished and I get to check something off a list, right in that moment, I get a fleeting taste of satisfaction.
Job - Done! Thing - Attained! Work - Finished! Dream - Actualized! Chore - Completed! Mission - Accomplished!
And what do we do? We celebrate! We party! We praise!
“Yay, good job” “Nice work” “Looks great” “Thanks for doing that” “You worked hard to make that happen”, “Way to persevere through that” and so much more ways we all pat each other on the back. Those moments of verbal praise feel good to when they happen. Remember Graduation parties and gifts – always fun and welcomed right?! Wedding receptions are another great celebration of a major accomplishment. Retirement parties. Anniversary milestones. All those things are attempts to grasp the ephemeral moment of satisfied life.
I love my husband, but not in a newlywed gooey way! I’m glad I have a HS degree, but I don’t drive around with “Class of ‘92” on my windows still! I love being a mom, but it sure feels different now from when I floated on cloud nine when I first knew I was pregnant! At some point after the party and celebration and high, we’re off to the next thing right? Sure we may live in the glory of the moment for a while, even a few years, but the feelings do fade.
All I’m trying to say with all this nonsense is that I struggle with satisfaction in a weird sort of way. I’d love to know how my friends out there hurdle this obstacle. I need a plan to tackle it, experiencing it just a little more while I wait for heaven.
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I think if experiencing it more is what you want you are in for a treat. Just think how you will feel when your little girls go graduate, make honor roll, go to college, meet that awesome guy that sweeps them off their feet and everything in between. It will all give you the best satisfaction you can get on this earth. And yes feelings do fade but arent the things you should be most proud about accomplishing the ones that you remember forever? The ones you tell your kids about. I think that is what you strive for, what we all strive for. The rest just gets us by until that next great moment of achievement. Something like that anyway!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean you don't love me in the newlywed gooey way!!!
ReplyDeleteI think maybe your "idea" of what "is" can be tuned up. Things do not have to get old. Everything can stay fresh and new and vibrant and I think you can find endless loving ways to feel newlywed gooey! Every day is a choice, an act of submission and surrender. I would agree it is basically inhuman to be completely satisfied all the time. Yet, it is precisely those moments that you feel unsatisfied that allow you to let in satisfaction by focussing on what is working, what you do appreciate, what you do love. Rather than endlessly creating lists to escape the feeling of dissatisfaction and enter satisfaction, focus on what you are doing right now and know that that is your purpose right now. Every moment of dissatisfaction is a blessing and opportunity to consciously invite the HS, God, Jesus, source, being, awareness, and satisfaction into your heart. Praise God for dissatisfaction, it is our wake up call, to open up to all that surrounds us.
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